According to Aziz Ansari’s hilarious book, Modern Romance, “online dating is almost a prerequisite for a modern single…[and] is like a second job that requires knowledge and skills that very few of us have.” I’ve always had reservations about online dating — mostly because of the horror stories associated with creepers and the stigma of not being desirable enough in person. However, after my return from Japan, I quickly realized that meeting someone in what I considered to be a ‘normal way’ would prove to be very difficult. Have you seen the way people are obsessed with their phones lately? Therefore, I decided to try my hand in online dating. This wasn’t a social experiment. Below, I describe the sites I used as well as the results. Enjoy!
Match.com is an online dating site, with a slew of lawsuits, which services over 25 countries. Two hours after creating a free profile with a flooded inbox, I found myself confused when I received this message while attempting to login:
Access to my account was blocked but when I tried to inquire, they sent me a generic email demanding a subpoena. Whoa! After some research, it seemed as though this is very typical of the site because they assumed I was a fake person. I took this as a compliment and kept it moving. Bye!
- Plenty of Fish
I was repeatedly warned about Plenty of Fish but I created a profile nonetheless. It took less than twenty minutes for me to delete my account after receiving messages from questionable men:
“Y u study Japanese for?”
Do you not see that I have a master’s degree? Where is the algorithm? Bye!
EHarmony was probably the biggest waste of time and money due to the extensive process of creating a profile. Here is how connections work on eHarmony: if someone is interested, they send five procreated ‘quick’ questions. If you’re interested, you answer and if they like your answers, a connection is made — by asking ‘make or break’ questions. Then, if that goes well, you’ll have ‘dig deeper’ questions to ask and answer. Oh, did I mention you’d also need to pay $120 for three months of service? Bye!
Tinder maybe the shallowest dating app ever created but it’s also kind of fun — when you’re playing with someone else’s Tinder. Aziz Ansari believes “Tinder is definitely where online dating is headed” and I’d have to agree. You create a simple profile that you link with Facebook or Instragram but the brilliance is that you only receive messages from someone who has also swiped right on your profile. You can also see if you have friends in common or peep on their public Instagram page. My only qualm is that it’s nearly impossible to know someone‘s personality or voice without having ever met them. Also, you’ll hilariously find your friend’s profiles on Tinder — sorry, not sorry for swiping left, friend! You still meet your typical weirdoes:
What happened to my Tinder account? I deleted it because I met someone. No, not on Tinder, silly! In person! Crazy, right? Let me know what you think about online dating and your struggle with finding that special someone!
Until next time! 🐰💭