Shammers, Haters, and Everything in Between

December 17, 2016

You’ve heard it all: fat-shamming, body-shamming, throwing shade, and sipping on hateraide. What’s everyone’s problem and why can’t they let you live? I don’t have the answers, but I know that no matter what, at some point in your life, you’ll be hated on for the way you look. In the past, I’ve been told to eat more and to “put some meat on those bones.” I’ve also been told to be grateful for the body I have now because once I have kids, that’ll be gone. My favorite was being told, “compared to me at (insert whatever age), you’re fat.” No matter what, I could never seem to win. Why? “Winning” can’t happen if I care about the opinions of others. Does it hurt? Sure! Will it bug me for a while? Of course, because that’s the goal. Their goal is to hurt, because it makes them feel better about themselves. Therefore, my tactic has been to to cut the shaming conversations short. Let me explain:

I’ve been rocking short hair for almost two years, but I’m in the process of regrowing my hair to its former glory. I made the mistake of relaying my ponytail princess plans, to be blatantly told, “I can’t imagine you’d look good with long hair.” My response was, “I look good in all hair lengths.” The conversation ended there, because I didn’t care to hear the person’s opinion. Do you think they could convince me that I would look terrible with long hair? Heck, I wouldn’t even let them try.

Let me tell you another story; this time about haters:

A little while back, my boyfriend and I were in line for the Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts ride at Universial Studios Orlando. The line was long, but we settled in after hearing an announcement of a delayed wait due to technical difficulties. “No worries,” we thought, “We’ll wait in line for a bit longer.” I wish the story ended there but for those that don’t know my boyfriend, he’s very affectionate and the group of 16-17 year olds behind us weren’t having it. They began to count, out loud, how many times we kissed. I didn’t notice at first until I overheard one girl say, “They are at 18 right now, because he kissed her on her shoulder” literally right after he kissed me on the shoulder. I was livid, but I repressed my urge to go full chonga. Instead, I became a bit petty when they tried and failed to skip us in the line. Either way, when I told el novio of their little counting game, he laughed and told me to think about how lame their lives must be that were were so focused on ours. Could I remember what the people in front of us were doing? No.

Lame people will do lame shit, and the worst thing you can do is to let their lame shit get to you.

Mind blown! I had known this for years, but to see it in practice was truly eye-opening. With that, I’ll leave you with one of my favorite bible verses:

“Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you.” (Proverbs 9:8)

or the 2016 version:

“Hater’s gunna hate!”

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