A personal goal I had for this year was to reach out to family and friends. This is a goal I no longer wish to pursue. I do not want to waste a gargantuan amount of energy by partaking in events that I have no interest in attending or “checking-in” in order to be considered a good person, friend, relative, or whatever. My time is precious, and I’ve decided not to waste it on people and things that don’t matter.
It has taken me awhile to realize who is deserving of my time and attention. I want to be friends with everyone and naturally avoid conflict, but I’ve realized that saying “yes” to everything has drained my energy and free time. My mom, recently asked “When you were in Japan, who was really there for you?” Three names popped into my head: my mom, of course, and my two best friends, Amy and Mars. I have friends that have kept in touch while I was in “The Land of the Rising Sun,” but these three wonderful women sent me care packages every Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and Easter. They supported me during my most difficult time — when I was stuck in Southeast Asia with a cheating boyfriend. They even read through my resume and cover letters when I was applying to jobs. They continuously support, encourage, and advise me from the ass-crack of dawn to the ungodly hours of the night.
I reiterate: I do not want to waste my time and energy in taking part in events that I have no interest in attending or “checking-in” in order to be considered a good person, friend, relative, or whatever. It really frost my cookies when I bend over backwards for others with little return.
But Gabi, you’re suppose to have no expectations and give without receiving!
In utopia, I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy but guess what, this isn’t real life. In real life, someone will invite you to their birthday just for that awesome, look-at-all-the-people-who-love-me Instagram photo and then give eighteen million excuses as to why they can’t attend yours. In real life, someone will ask you a favor and forget you exist when you need one. In real life, you have acquaintances, friends, and Ride or Dies and, in real life, you can’t have Ride or Die expectations for acquaintances. Do you smell what I’m stepping in?
I challenge you! Ask yourself who is really there for you. The answer could vary from situation to situation. However, be mindful of how you use your time and energy and on whom. Are they acquaintances, friends, or Ride or Dies?